I have experienced loss before both human and animal but yesterday was the hardest day that I can remember. Yesterday I lost my baby girl Sophie after a month of fighting an uphill battle against something that we didn't even know she had. We thought all along she was just down from her surgery but yesterday morning the results from her bloodwork came in and she was diagnosed with FIP or Feline Infections Peritonitis. It is a disease that is 100% fatal once contracted and even though we didn't know long she had it once it took hold of her little body the effects were fast and devastating. She was ok on Sunday and by Monday afternoon she couldn't walk and was having difficulty breathing. Tuesday she lost control of her body all together. She was using the bathroom all over herself and vomiting everything that went into her mouth and even when her stomach was empty she was throwing up. We took her to the vet on Tuesday for x-rays, blood and urine tests and everything came back fine. I was finally feeling relieved that maybe we would be able to drag her out of her dumps and she'd be better. Wednesday we got more test results that said she was going to be fine. No cancer or anything so, again, I felt like we were going to beat whatever was keeping her down. Thursday I woke up determined that me and her were going to get through this. I was going to make her better if it was the last thing I did and come to find out there was nothing I could have done to cure this horrible disease. Late morning she was gone.
I feel like a horrible mother because I didn't take her to the vet and get regular checkups. It was such a hassle to deal with her and she would bite, scratch and work herself up so much that I felt not taking her was the best thing. I can't say that I would have done anything differently had I known she had this disease because she wasn't suffering thanks to the pain meds we were giving her for the ear problem but at least I would have known what to expect and been able to make better choices for her and her health. I also know I wouldn't have shooed her away so often in the mornings when I was trying to get ready for work. I would have let her outside more often because she loved being outside. I would have dealt with being uncomfortable more nights when she wanted to cuddle rather than telling her to move over or get down.
I didn't just lose a pet I lost my best friend and my #1 bitch (as I like to call her). She wasn't just a cat to me she was like my daughter. I literally feel empty without her...it's amazing how much that little 10 pound terroist meant to me and I will ALWAYS love and there will never again be another Sophie Todd.
RIP my sweet, naughty, sassy, evil, pretty little baby and be a good girl. I know you'll be waiting for me when it's time for us to be together again
Until next time
Hugs, Kisses and Bestest wishes
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