Regret...is a beast...

Regret is a funny thing because it can sneak up on you when you least expect it and when it does you feel terrible.  I was just sitting here thinking how I feel bad that I am going out with my friend tonight till who knows when and Sarah will be home by herself.  I thought for a second that maybe I shouldn't go because I feel bad but then I knew almost simultaneously that if I didn't I would regret not taking advantage of this opportunity.  This isn't something that comes along every day and I know that even though I feel bad I will have a good time and Sarah is be no means glued to the chair.  She has options to go hang out with other friends or she can stay at home, go see a movie pretty much whatever so her choice is hers to make and I won't feel bad if she decides to sit home and just watch TV with the cat.  It seems like whenever I think of something I regret they all bum rush me at the same time and I have a short time where I feel like a real butt because no matter how hard I try not to let them all come up at once it always happens.  I don't regret many things in life because every choice I made and everything I did or didn't do made me who I am and some regret is good because it reminds you of choices you don't want to make again.  The few things I do regret, however, always kick me right in the face.  I regret not having a relationship with my mother's parents.  Noone ever said I couldn't it was my own choice to not call my grandparents or to write them a letter when I was younger and then there were times in my adult life I could have gone down there on my own and I didn't.  The only good thing that comes from feeling like that is now I know I don't want to feel like that anymore and it caused me to take steps to contact and become closer to my living relatives on my mother's side.  I am so thankful that I did because I love them and they are as much a part of my life even though they are hundres of miles away.  Another thing I regret is tha I didn't finish my college education.  I didn't go when I was right out of high school becasue I didn't think it was important at the time and then when I tried to go back I didn't finish because I thought other things were more important and now looking back they would have worked themselves out just fine.  But again, I know when I finally get the chance to go back I won't give up this time beacuse I only gave up on myself.  I'm the only one that has to deal with the way I feel about not finishing.  My third regret is not moving to North Carolina in 2011.  I don't regret not leaving because I got to be with my grandparents in their last stages of life and was able to be there the day Jaxsen was born rather than having to wait till I could find time to come home and I'm able to see the kids whenever and be a part of them growing up.  What I do regret is letting fear make my decision for me.  I was afraid of going somewhere alone and starting my whole life over with noone.  I would have made friends and gotten used to it but the thought of leaving everything and everyone I've ever known scared me something fierce and it caused me to not follow through with it and I feel like a failure because I couldn't overcome fear and do something that I've always wanted to do.  I also know that when the time comes and if I ever have another chance to go somewhere new I will take it and make the best of it. 

Can you honestly say you regret nothing in your life??? If not what is something you regret and how has it changed the way you look at life?

The only think I can tell you is to not beat yourself up over regret because it's the past and there is nothing that can be done to change it and no matter what it makes you who you are.   All you can do is learn from it and use what you learned to light your future

Until next time
Hugs, Kisses and Bestest wishes